Pammy Baby
by UnapologeticIvy
Summary: The early life of Pamela Isley, loosely based on the New52 origin. Pam had a difficult life from the moment her mother died. She knew the only thing she could do was to continue to survive but life keeps throwing her curve balls and her hate for humanity grows. Co-writer: docrock Check out Vines N Roses: Poison Ivy fanzine.
1. Chapter 1

Pam ran down the narrow dark path between the duplexes, listening to her parents yelling inside. It figures, she thought, pursing her lips as she kicked through the garden gate.

He never stays nice for long and last week he was really nice.

Last week, Pam's parents took her out to eat at Vincenzo's to celebrate her 10th birthday. Pam's folks, John and Lilian, sat close together on the squeaky vinyl booth, and he kept one hand on her thigh while they ate. Lilian's face was pink from chianti and laughter, and John drank highball after highball, joking and teasing Pam in a good-natured way. Pam had closed her eyes and blown out the candle in her tiramisu, silently wishing her parents would always be like this. It was one of those trick candles that sputtered out then lit up again, and Pam blew it out over and over, her face getting hot and red as John chuckled and smacked Lilian's thigh and Vincenzo beamed at the family from behind the bar.

"Pammy, baby," Lilian said softly as she leaned across the table, "it looks like you got lotsa wishes this year, huh?" She plucked the flaming candle from Pam's dessert and chucked it in her water glass, winking at Pam.

The screech of Lilian's screams, punctuated by a loud smack, pulled Pam from her reverie and back to the dingy scrap of earth Lillian called the garden. Years ago, on the cracked concrete behind their house, Lilian had nailed together some discarded boards a neighbor had left on the curb. Now, they overflowed with garlic, lavender, rosemary, and mint. Rickety folding chairs surrounded a card table bowed under the weight of empty beer bottles, a variety of succulents, and an overflowing ashtray.

Pam hung her backpack on the rusted chain link fence and fished out her ipod and headphones, a gift from her dad after an especially bad fight where Lilian fell and broke her collarbone. She weeded the flowerbeds with Siouxsie and the Banshees, her mother's favorite, blasted to drown out the screaming and yelling. Halfway through the second bed, Pam stopped, sweaty and hungry, and flopped down in the best spot in the garden, a makeshift hammock strung from the clothesline. Pam pulled her hoodie over her face and daydreamed about her plans for the garden. She and her mom were going to plant strawberries and watermelon in the biggest bed.

When Pam woke up, she was sitting on cold metal and it was dark out. Strobing blue lights flashed on the cop car in front of her. Her legs dangled far from the ground and she wondered how she got up so high, perched on the back of an ambulance, and an EMT placed a rough heavy blanket over her shoulders as he talked to someone behind her. "Yeah, she's in shock, but she's coming around. DCFS can take her. Nothing a doctor can do." He shouted as he shined a light in her eyes and wrote on a clipboard avoiding eye contact as he crouched in front of her.

"Pammy! Baby! It wasn't me, you've gotta tell em!" John's voice cracked as he screamed.

She'd never seen him afraid, but he looked terrified as he was shoved, hands cuffed behind him, towards the cruiser. Spit flew out of his mouth, his eyes were wide, and his face was even paler than normal as he flailed against the cop trying to push his giant frame through the open car door.

Suddenly, Pam remembered waking up in the hammock, the orange sky reducing her father to a silhouette, a hulking form leaning on a shovel and breathing heavily. Her mother lay in a shallow hole in the biggest flower bed, eyes staring blankly into space and blood smeared across her face. John turned and saw Pam as she fell out of the hammock and scrambled to Lillian.

"Mama!" she cried, shaking her bloody limp body.

Pam turned towards her father as he grabbed her by the sweatshirt. She twisted out of her hoodie and sprinted down the path along the side of the house, never realizing the piercing noise in her ears was her own scream.

Pam started as she was brought back to the present by a hand on her arm.

"Hey honey. I'm Miss Denise. I'm with child welfare."

Miss Denise was a short plump woman with tight brown curls cut close to her head. Her eyes were level with Pam's when she sat next to her on the back of the ambulance.

"I'm here to find you a safe place to say"

"Hi" Pam said in a gravelly voice she didn't recognize.

"My car is right over there," Miss Denise said, gesturing across the street. "We can get something for you to eat while we figure this out."

"I'm not hungry. Where's my mom? Can I see her?"

"Pamela…do you have any people we can call? Grandparents, or aunts or uncles…" Miss Denise said, her eyes watery and her face scrunched up like a walnut. She patted Pam's back and peered into her eyes.

"I thought he was gonna kill her before. Lotsa times, I thought he did. I knew this would happen. I just wanna see her."

"The EMTs tried to revive her. You did the right thing by going to the neighbors for help."

Pam swallowed the lump in her throat, willing herself to speak in her new gravelly voice. "I know that. I want to see her."

"Oh honey, you don't want that…Do you have any family we can call?"

Pam shook her head and tried to speak but her throat closed up and tears slide down her face. Miss Denise put her arm around Pam's shoulders. Pam looked back at the house, thinking she could grab her ipod and some books and clothes but saw yellow police tape plastered all over the duplex's left door and the path to the garden.

Inside Miss Denise's car, a tiny but immaculate Toyota Yaris, Pam sat listlessly. Miss Denise was talking quietly on her cell phone, just a murmur over the motown on the radio. Pam flinched when Miss Denise reached backwards and buckled Pam's seatbelt.

The rest of the night was dreamlike, unreal. A happy meal was cold and untouched in her lap when the car stepped in front of a rambling old victim house. Gotham Children's Home read the shabby faded sign in the front yard. Vacant swings creaked in the wind. The front porch light turned on and a woman in a bathrobe stepped outside.

Miss Denis handed her a clipboard, and she quickly signed the pages while Miss Denise turned to Pam and leaned forward slightly so they were eye level as she spoke.

"You'll be assigned a case worker in the morning, honey. They'll come see you soon."

The woman in the bathrobe handled back the clipboard and gestured for Pam to follow her inside. Wordlessly, she was shuttled down a hallway and into a room heavy with sleep. The lady pointed to an empty bed and watched with her arms crossed over her chest as Pam kicked off her sneakers and peeled back the covers. Before she was in bed, the door closed and she was left in total darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

For her first month or so at the home, before Selina took interest in her, Pam had barely eaten. At first, she was a zombie, unable to eat or sleep from the shocking loss of her family and everything familiar. Gradually, she slept fitfully, in between nightmares of Lillian's body thudding into the garden bed and John's meaty arm reaching towards her, grabbing her sweatshirt. Her appetite returned and she was constantly hungry. The food at the home was a sick joke, even worse than the muck served at school. It was made by some sort of food delivery system, delivered frozen and overcooked in an industrial behemoth of a microwave morning, noon, and night. Now that she was in with Selina, she had pastry and coffee from Chung's Market on the walk to school and pizza by the slice on the walk home. Coffee was an important staple because it suppressed her appetite.

One day, as Pam sat by herself in the school cafeteria, a tray of untouched green beans and mystery meat before her, she caught a glimpse of Selina stealthily filling her backpack with chocolate milk from an overlooked refrigerator, and skipping out of the kitchen unnoticed. On the walk home, Selina had told her that she had sold the milk to her classmates at half the price the school charged and that the proceeds had paid for the slices of pepperoni they were eating. Pam stopped and looked at the slice dripping grease down her hand.

"Don't tell me you feel bad!" Selina crowed through a full mouth.

Pam swallowed and shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "Selina, it's stealing. That's not right."

"Nah, I'll tell ya what's not right. Kids being in a shit place like we are. Right and wrong don't mean nothin'. I lost my parents and then my sister. And now I'm hungry. I'm gonna steal as much as I want and it still won't be right. And the world owes you too, Pammy. You'll never get your life back. The least you can do is enjoy a slice of pizza and not be miserable."

Pam didn't say anything but she finished her pizza as she chewed on this new concept. She was hungry, after all, and she didn't have a lot of edible options. If she couldn't eat, it was hard to stay awake and take good notes. School was her secret plan, a plan so cherished that she wouldn't even tell Selina about it. No one at the home knew but she had skipped Kindergarten and gone straight to first grade, the only kid in her class reading books with no pictures.

"Pammy baby, this will be your big break!" Her mother had often told her as she excelled in all her subjects. Pam had taken a placement test right before her 10th birthday and would be in gifted classes in 7th grade. She would be the first person from her family to go to college. Pam had known instinctively to keep this from Selina. It could be used against her, like a weapon, and Pam had seen how mean Selina could be. Selina had made it clear that she didn't like Pam at first, but changed her mind when she saw how Mrs. Chung acted towards her, respectful and patient as she stared at the candy on display. That was when Selina started sharing her food, in exchange for an innocent little white girl to distract clerks and cashiers or to slip away, theft unsuspected while Selina got hassled.

* * *

"Rise and shine, Pammy! It's a beautiful day to screw the man over."

Pam moaned and pulled the covers over her head. "Five more minutes,'' she pleaded.

"Nah, I've been up for hours and I've been giving you 5 more minutes, 5 more minutes..."

Selina was the coolest girl in the group home (and the toughest), except when she had a scam - then she had no chill. Pam could tell that today Selina had a plan, and it involved Pam getting out of bed on a Saturday morning. She sat up just as Selina plopped down on the foot of her bed, leaning forward and passing Pam a pastry and a coffee. Pam frowned as she took the food.

"Don't worry. I paid for it. No more screwing over the little guy."

"Well good. I like the Chungs' store and I want them to stay in business."

"Me too, me too. They got cheap coffee. But they are racist as fuck. You shoulda seen the nasty look Mrs. Chung gave me the other day."

Pam didn't answer, but nodded in agreement as her mouth was full of chocolate croissant. Pam and Selina had made a deal. Pam would help her steal, distracting sales clerks and cashiers, and Selina would refrain from targeting small businesses or hurting individuals. Pam sipped her coffee. Selina had taught her to take it black and the bitterness contrasted with the sweetness of the pastry.

"You're right. She treats you different than me. So what's the plan?"

Selina's amber eyes glowed as she leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially. "You're gonna love it. You've done such a great job and you deserve a treat. We're gonna hit Barnes and Noble! Corporate. Bookstore. What more could you ask for?"

"Absolutely nothing! Lemme write down what I want."

"No, no. You get to shop for real!" Selina shouted in excitement, then caught herself and whispered, handing Pamela 3 crisp 20 dollar bills. "First, you hit the books, whatever you want, all that science fiction and shit you're into. Then you go into the music section. I'll follow you in. I need you to make sure to get something with a sensor tag and walk right out to set the sensors off. While they're dealing with you, I'll go through. The sensors will already be going off. I'll slip through with some ipods in my sweatshirt. Bat your eyes at the staff and play dumb. Pretty little white girl like you, they'll be real understanding. Pay for your stuff, then meet me at the spot," Selina explained, grinning.

"Umm, you're forgetting the sensors at the exit door though."

"Nah, I'll be hitting the restroom while you're fawning and apologizing," Selina said. "I'll have the tags off before I leave the store."

"How?"

"I got a sensor remover. This girl Cynthia. She aged out last year. She works retail, and she owed me a favor."

Pam stuffed the last of her croissant in her mouth and got out of bed. "Ok. Gimme a sec," she said and grabbed her toothbrush and towel, heading for the bathroom.

* * *

Pam slurped up the last of her strawberry frappuccino and the suction noise echoed loudly off the red brick alleyway, startling her out of her daydream. Selina sat on the fire escape 3 floors up, shaking her head, about to scold Pam for her less than stealthy approach, but smiled instead when she saw Pam had gotten her a drink topped with whipped cream. Selina's meeting spot was in East End, where she had lived before she became a ward of the state. The neighborhood was maze-like and confusing to Pam, with its missing street signs and numerous alleyways, but Selina navigated it with ease. Selina chose to work with Pam because as a white girl, she was assumed innocent and above suspicion by shopkeepers and security guards, while Selina was followed and scrutinized. In East End, it was Pam who was conspicuous. Residents paused mid conversation to watch her pass, looking down unsmiling from stoops and windows, no doubt wondering what a white girl was doing in their neighborhood. She couldn't imagine what it must be like for Selina, who was treated this way everywhere except East End. Selina said she chose her meeting spot because it was close to the people she sold her stolen goods to, but Pam imagined it might also be a relief to go unnoticed, to feel like she belonged.

Pam made her ascent up the fire escape slowly, carrying the drink and a big shopping bag full of books. Selina's eyes glittered as she swung over the metal railing, legs extended like a gymnast, and dropped down a level, landing neatly in front of Pam and snatching the drink.

"Thanks Pammy. I could use a little pick me up."

They ducked through an open window into the empty studio.

"How'd you do?" Pam asked.

"Pretty alright. I got six of 'em. Coulda got more but I didn't want to leave the display empty."

"Sensors came off okay?"

"Yeah, I got the hang of it after a minute. Kinda tricky... You got some good stuff, too?"

"Yes! I was thinking. There are two more Barnes & Noble downtown and a couple of Borders too. We should do this again."

"Yeah, no problem. Should probably lay low for a minute, so don't read too fast. But may be in a couple of weeks. Try a Borders next."

"When's your meeting? How much you think you can get for them?"

"A few more minutes then I gotta go. You took forever to get here. I was beginning to think you got lost or something."

"No, I was just carrying a ton of stuff!" Pam wouldn't admit to Selina that she'd gotten disoriented for a minute and had to circle back to a main road to get her bearings. So she shook her head and rummaged through her bag, and Selina rummaged in a corner of the apartment in what looked like a pile of trash, pulling out a backpack that clacked with the sound of ipods inside. Pam laid on the grimy floor on her stomach and cracked open a thick volume, Wild Seed by Octavia Butler.

"Okay, I'm out. Stay put. I'm closing the window behind me. If I'm not back by sunset, go back to the home."

* * *

The sky was orange and pink when Pam dog-eared a corner of her book and got up to leave. She felt a little worried for Selina, but also was prepared to be pissed off. A couple weeks ago they'd run a scam at a makeup store, with Pam grilling the salesclerks about animal testing while Selina snuck out with some high end cosmetics. After leaving to sell the stuff to one of her contacts, Selina hadn't made it back to the spot. Pam struck off for the group home on her own, convinced that Selina had been snatched up by the police or something. But Selina made it back right at curfew, laughing and hiccuping, clearly drunk, if any of the staff had cared. Pam felt hot and shaky at the memory of how scared she had been and how careless Selina had been.

"Pammy," Selina called out to her from the fire escape, jolting her from her memory. Pam hadn't heard her coming, she was so light on her feet. Pam opened the window and brushed past Selina as she clomped down the metal steps.

They stopped at a corner store on the way home and bought chips and candy and soft drinks.


End file.
